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Antisocial Media

I’ve come to the realisation recently that for all the energy I put into communicating on social media I get very little in return.

I have shared information about my life on a pretty regular basis and sure I’ll sometimes get a large number of ‘likes’ and that’s cool.

But I have recently cut right back on my social media use and I discovered that nobody cares.

Everyone is too busy posting photos on Instagram of their kids or holiday. Some post selfies wearing their new outfit or their new haircut. Everyone is too busy telling me how #blessed they are and quite frankly I’m over it.

I don’t mean to be a Negative Nelly. I’m happy you are enjoying your holiday and that your kid has learned how to poo in the toilet, that’s great, good for you. I’m just a little sad that nobody seems to notice when I’m gone (which I know is ridiculous, I clearly need to get a life!). I only jumped onto fb a couple of times last week to post a funny video on a friend’s timeline and to share last week’s blog post. For me that is cutting social media use by quite a lot. I’m also trying to not get caught in the trap of scrolling through my newsfeed. It used to be a way of catching up with people but these days it’s mostly just a trap of comparing and debating.

I realise this is very much a first world problem and I’m probably being a drama queen but it is frustrating trying to break a habit of fake socialising and trying to figure out how to be a real person in the real world. I was never good at it to begin with but now my social media addiction has made socialising more difficult. I’m out of practice. I’ve spent years looking at photos of other people’s weddings and parties (that I wasn’t invited to) and have forgotten how to deal with the social practices at such events in real life.

I can stalk people online but don’t know how to interact with them in person. It is so much easier just to check a person’s timeline rather than to call them and ask them how they are. Social media is anything but social, but it makes you feel like you’re being social which for aspies can seem quite liberating, but it’s a trap. It can suck the life out of you.

When people stop ‘liking’ my photos and status updates I can easily feel like I’m not being listened to. I can feel like the unpopular kid at highschool, which is an unhealthy way to deal with social media. If anything when it comes to social media (or life in general) you really need to be secure in yourself. I’m learning to truly not care. Today I plan to get out of the house and just hang. I’ll probably go to the local library, run some errands, just do whatever. I’ll have my phone with me but I won’t have internet on because I don’t have credit. I’m going to pay some attention to the real world today.

Taking a step back from social media should help, I hope.

Happy socialising,

Kate.      

I don't care anymore.

I don’t care any more.

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2 responses to “Antisocial Media

  1. Erica C. ⋅

    You don’t have to be an aspie to feel the way you feel. I HATE Facebook. I dislike the fact that people will like things that are completely idiotic, and they will ignore things that better someone, inspires someone, is informative, or educational. I used to post positive and informative things and no one commented – so I don’t post nearly at all. Why bother – they’re not looking for “good” information. Most of the posts on my page are from other people. I go to Facebook only to see what my husband has posted about me.

    I believe that social media is the complete opposite of the need to be “secure in yourself”. I believe that those who are heavy social media users that focus solely on themselves (we know who they are…the ones that have a new selfie for every hour of the day or posting what they are eating, when they are on the toilet, or when they cough) need validation from others to feel pretty, smart, desirable, envied, or important. They need to announce to the world everything they do so that someone can pay attention to them for that moment due to their own low self-esteem or self-confidence issues.

    What you are doing is important work…meaningful work. So what you post will not attract those looking to see someone fall off a chair or those competing against a friend about who has the best outfit to go absolutely nowhere. Socializing in the “real world” is much more meaningful. Your social skills mean everything when face to face. Your strength comes from self-validation that your thoughts and the things you do are important, and no one can tell you otherwise.

    So you are not alone in your thoughts… and I don’t think its aspie related….its the way the world is now. Maybe if you post something that is senseless and unproductive you will get a better response.

    Go enjoy the local library, run some errands, and enjoy doing “just do whatever”. THAT is the way it SHOULD be!

  2. Grumpy Alien ⋅

    A couple of weeks ago I cut my Facebook “friends” from more than 100 to 38. Most of those remaining are family members overseas. It’s an easy way to stay in touch. Those I “unfriended” were not interested in me, nor were we adding anything to each other’s lives. I feel better off without them in my newsfeed now.

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