There have been a few incidents recently that have reminded me that I still have a way to go.
A couple of weeks ago my husband and I went to a church bbq. We are new to this church and it was a great way to meet more people. Salads were provided we just had to bring our own meat.
I saw some men gathering at the bbq so I put our sausages next to other meat and assumed our sausages would be put aside when cooked and we could pick them up.
After a while I thought surely they would be cooked by now but I just didn’t have the courage to ask. Luke was tired and had had enough socialising for one day so he didn’t want to check, plus he was much less concerned than I was. I was hungry and getting more stressed by the situation because I barely knew anybody.
After a few more minutes I had what I thought was a ‘mini’ tantrum, but it was big enough for one person to notice. She was lovely about it though and helped me out. I was still quite significantly embarrassed though.
We did eventually get fed. I sent the lady a text to briefly explain that I had Aspergers. She didn’t seem bothered by it at all.
A couple of days later I came home from work to find that my wonderful husband had done the washing up. But it only took a few minutes to notice that the bench top was covered in water which infuriated me. Instead on focusing on the good thing my husband had done, I focused on what was wrong with the situation. Us aspies can have an obsession with having things done a certain way. A certain pattern, a certain routine. Our own form of perfection. Sometimes I just have to let go and deal. The annoying thing is while I’m having these meltdowns there is a voice in my head telling me I’m being ridiculous, but I go ahead anyway. It’s like an uncontrollable force of frustration, over something so small a lot of the time.
Oh well, at least I’m aware of it. I don’t get self righteous about it anymore, well once the tanty is over anyway. It is what it is but it’s not impossible to fix. I have come a long way so far, I just haven’t finished the journey yet.
Enjoy your journey,